Clear Eyes, Full Heart, Can’t Sleep
It’s back. Insomnia. Like the sequel to a horror movie you never thought was good enough to have a comeback in the first place. As the last of daylight recedes and my part of the world plunges into darkness (not … Continue reading
Real Slick, Ace
One of the biggest hurdles in meeting new people and in dating is self-confidence. Sorry – one of the biggest hurdles for ME is self-confidence. If you’ve got no problem getting your strut on, props to you! (Not that you … Continue reading
Use Your Words: Online Dating Profiles
There’s a corner market I won’t go to anymore because the guy behind the counter took to asking me questions like, “Why are your lips so sexy, huh, sweetie?” and, “When was the last time you had sex? Long time?” … Continue reading
Your Inner Love Beast
Once again there is a story in the news about a couple of well meaning humans taking a great ape into their home. Unlike the story of Travis, a chimpanzee who got hopped up on red wine, antidepressants, and probably … Continue reading
Erin’s (Not So Online) Dating Files: The Sullied Lily
When I was thirteen my friend Claudia’s mom was driving us home from school. We were strapped in the backseat with our 50 pound backpacks talking about which boys we liked. Claudia’s mom was divorced and was one of those … Continue reading
Erin’s (Not So Online) Dating Files: The Dating Game
I’m envious of people to whom dating, love, and basic social interaction come naturally. I remember thinking in Junior High that there HAD to be a handbook I hadn’t received. It seemed like there was a set of rules and … Continue reading
Erin’s (Not So Online) Dating Files: The Game (Revised)
There are a lot of lines out there that will get you nowhere, and then there a lot of ways to deliver those lines in an effective way that will at least increase your chances. In the dating world of … Continue reading
Erin’s (Not So Online) Dating Files: Are You There God? Dude… Hello?
Even though I had a fully (and horrifyingly) illustrated copy of “Our Bodies, Ourselves,” as a young tween, it was Judy Blume who really provided the answers. Pen and ink drawings of fallopian tubes and quotes about masturbation habits by … Continue reading
Erin’s (Not So Online) Dating Files: Putting the Rapture Back in Rapture
By the time you read this you will either be huddled in a dank drain pipe somewhere hiding from one of the nine-headed monsters of the apocalypse or things will be pretty much exactly the same as they are as … Continue reading
Erin’s (Not So Online) Dating Files: Just Perfect
When I was going to Community College, basically high school with ash trays and sad old people looking for a second shot, I met my first real boyfriend, Kevin. He was so pale he was almost albino with angular, alien-like … Continue reading

