Many relationships fall apart because of communication. The interesting part about communication is that men and women think about communication in different ways.  These differences in how one communicates can create more problems than it solves.  Men have the tendency to interpret women’s words as problems.  Women like to give every detail as a way to fully inform the person with whom she is speaking.  The problem is that men often think that these details are problems.

When these details are interpreted, men feel like they are listening to an overwhelming list of problems that they feel helpless to solve. When this feeling of impotence comes over them, men begin to feel the pressure of solving, insolvable problems.  This type of interpretation creates a hostile situation between men and women because men tend to draw back from his partner, while the woman tries desperately to reel him back in with more communication.  These two stand points create a cold situation endowed with a lot of fighting.

Men cannot feel pressured into speaking and women cannot treat her boyfriend as if he were her girlfriend, revealing every detail. There are a lot of tricks for both men and women to begin listening to each other and what they really mean.  For men to take the pressure off, he has to know that what women say is not a list of problems but rather a way for her to get the things that bother her off of her chest.  For women, they should know that it is not necessary to go over every detail.  Also, when she sees that her boyfriend or husband is feeling down, trying to force what he is feeling is not the solution.  Sometimes all men want is the simple pleasure of comfort.  Sometimes just sitting alongside them, giving them a hug or helping them to forget about their problems, is how to really solve these communication problems.

Communication should be about bringing a couple together not separating them. If your communication skills are not working to bring the two of you together, try something else.  These are many different types of communication techniques that a couple can use that can range from oral communication skills to even physical communication skills like tantra.  Do not let your special relationship go to ruins just because of miscommunication.

Photo by courtneyBolton