Kara Pound is one of the leading voices for single women looking for love on the Internet.  Kara has interviewed thousands of experts and written hundreds of pieces about the online dating scene and has the largest following on datingadvice.com. She’s definitely an expert on all matters of the heart and the logistics of how to get a date online.

Question: At what point should a woman drop the bar scene and make the move to online dating?

Kara Pound: Great question. I see the bar scene as the land of the one-night stands and online dating like an amazing first date filled with homemade pasta, red wine and a competitive game of Scrabble. What I mean by this is that finding a guy in a bar and expecting this “spark” to turn into a meaningful relationship is not realistic. If you honestly want a long-term relationship with a man who will play board games with you, dress-up as your Halloween counterpart and slow dance in the living room, then you’re going to have to be open to finding it. Most likely, this will not be found at a bar – try a co-ed book club, the gym, a friend of a friend, photography class or community garden.

Question: Is there still a stigma attached to online dating? How should women in their twenties approach the topic with friends and family?

Kara Pound: Absolutely not. This is not 1990. Meeting your mate online is no longer taboo. It’s fairly common, actually. My best friend and her husband met through an online dating site and they’re one of the strongest couples I know. Online dating is ideal for women with busy lives who want to find a man to share it with. The idea that friends or family wouldn’t be supportive of the decision to join an online dating community is just plain odd to me. Maybe it’s because I’m extremely open-minded, but I think a great way to address this topic with your loved ones is to say exactly what I wrote above. Tell them that you work 60 hours per week and don’t seem to have the time to find a partner and that’s why you’re going to give “dating site X” a try. How can they not be supportive?

Question: What is the most important lesson you should keep in mind when creating an online profile?

Kara Pound: Well, an online profile is the first thing a guy sees when they’re searching through possible matches. Therefore, the profile should give a brief, but exciting and unique look into who you are as a person. Pick a profile photo that you feel really speaks to who you are. If you’re unsure, ask a friend to help you pick one out. When you answer the profile questions, don’t write a page when it really only requires a sentence. And be humble, nobody wants to read about all of those lawyer awards you’ve won or how you were tennis champ in college.

Question: How many dates do you recommend women should go on each month? Why that number? Is taking more or less a bad thing?

Kara Pound: Hmmmmm . . . I think two dates per week, so eight dates per month, is a solid number. Of course, this depends on a lot of variables in your life. Are you a single mother? Do you take care of an ailing parent? Does work demand long hours and weekends? There is no definite answer to this question. Date however many times per month you feel comfortable with – sometimes more and sometimes less than eight. Just keep your priorities straight and don’t put dating ahead of really important obligations like friends, family and work.

Question: What should you share in online correspondence before a date?

Kara Pound: Before meeting a guy in-person, definitely be careful with what you share with him via the World Wide Web. Don’t tell him where you work, where you live or any other personal information like your sister or best friends full name. After a few  one-on-one dates, and only when you feel really comfortable with this man, should you share certain details.

Question: How much time and money would you recommend the average user commit each week to online dating?

Kara Pound: This completely depends on how serious you are about finding a potential life-long mate. If you’re just looking for casual dating, then be casual about your  commitment to online dating and definitely don’t mortgage your house to meet monthly website fees. If finding a husband is the single-most important thing in your life, then categorize it as number one. There is no right or wrong answer to this question. Just ask yourself how much money it’s worth and how much time you’d spend to find Mr. Right. Is it $100 per month and 10 hours per week? That’s only for you to decide.

Skeptics of online dating often cite a fear of dishonestly as a main concern. How can you really trust someone you met online. Zidelity seeks to remedy those fears and create an honest environment for online daters. Zidelity is a way for online daters to confirm another user’s intentions and desires in seeking a relationship. No longer do Zidelity users fear going on a date with someone who is married or taken. Online Dating Sites was lucky enough to get an interview with the president of Zidelity and talk about the service they provide for their members.

ODS: How what the concept of Zidelity? Was it originally intended specifically for online daters?

Zidelity: Currently online dating websites do not provide any means for individuals who are looking for exclusive relationship to make sure that the person with whom they are interacting is really interested in a serious and exclusive relationship (i.e., they are not already in other relationships). In addition, there is no way for people who are looking for serious relationships to show their intentions and differentiate themselves from thousands who may not be seeking the same in a relationship. As a result there can be mistrust among online daters, which is not healthy.

Zidelity has been designed to help online daters establish trust during or even before, dating. This is accomplished by users declaring their relationships on Zidelity. Once users declare their relationships, they cannot change the information without their partner’s knowledge. Neither can they hide the information about their current relationships or create a second account with different relationship status. And all of these are achieved without compromising users’ privacy. Users’ information cannot be viewed by even their friends. Readers can see an example of how Zidelity can be used to establish trust while dating or in a relationship or build trust before dating starts.

Although originally designed for online daters, singles who do not use dating websites or even couples can use Zidelity to establish trust or strengthen it to enhance their relationships.

ODS: Do you think even honest and trustworthy people have difficulty announcing their relationship to their friends? If so, why do you think people find that difficult to announce?

Zidelity: While an honest person may have all good intentions, he/she may not feel comfortable to announce a new relationship to everybody in his/her social circle from the get-go. This kind of announcement is generally considered a milestone in a relationship.

People who use online dating may date many others before finding the right match. Even honest people who are not thinking about cheating may not feel comfortable to announce to their social circles that they are dating a new person only to stop dating him/her a month later! On the other hand, postponing the declaration of the relationship may be interpreted as the lack of interest in a serious and exclusive relationship. Because of this, there is a dilemma for online daters about when to declare their relationship on Facebook or other social networks.

Zidelity solves this dilemma by allowing individuals declare their relationships to give peace of mind to their partners that they are interested in an exclusive relationship without the additional pressure associated with announcing their relationship to their social circles.

ODS: Is Zidelity’s intention to replace the inevitable discussion about the exclusivity of relationships or to simply make the discussion easier?

Zidelity: A healthy relationship requires trust, which can be established if both parties are truthful about their intentions. While people can talk about their intentions, Zidelity provides a tool they can use to show that they are serious about those intentions.

ODS: Part of the service Zidelity provides is proof of identity. As the site points out, it is easy for anyone to set up fake accounts on Facebook, Twitter and other social networks. How do you confirm user’s identities?

Zidelity: During the initial phase, users can quickly register and start using Zidelity. However, when they interact with another user, the user will know that their identities have not been verified yet. When a user decides to verify his/her identity, he/she provides his/her full legal name, the date of birth and the home address, which are verified electronically by a third party for accuracy. After making a credit card payment, a letter is sent to the provided address to finalize the registration. These steps assure that each person can create only one account and under his/her real name.

ODS: Have you ever had any issues confirming the identities of different people who have the same name or with addresses that lead to P.O. Boxes?

Zidelity: Since we also ask for the user’s date of birth, we can verify the identities even when two users have the same name. Regarding the second part of the question, we ask users to provide their residence addresses.

ODS: Is there any way for members to display a button to their Zidelity account on dating sites or social networking sites?

Zidelity: Not at the moment, but this is a feature we are going to add in the future to make it easier for Zidelity users to show their membership to others, instead of them writing about their Zidelity membership on their dating profiles.

ODS: Is there any other information other than the history of relationship status that Zidelity provides?

Zidelity: No. From the beginning we made the conscious decision to make the website only a tool for honest individuals to declare their relationships and use it to show their interest in an exclusive relationship. Therefore, we only display the information users have provided about their relationships. Zidelity has been designed such that if a user provides wrong information, his/her intentions will be apparent to others. It’s not possible for a person to use Zidelity to provide contradictory information about his/her relationship to others. This prevents for example a married person from linking his/her profile to his/her spouse’s profile and at the same time creating another profile and claiming he/she is single on that profile.

ODS: What are your plans for the future of Zidelity?

Zidelity: We are raising the awareness among online daters so they can benefit from Zidelity when searching for the right match. Our goal is to make it easier for people to start and maintain relationships based on honesty. In the future we are going to partner with dating websites to facilitate usage and access of this important tool.

Thank you, Zidelity, for the great interview. With all the great things online dating can do, it’s comforting to know that the service is now safer to use. We at Online Dating Sites look forward to watching your service grow and expand.

New York City dog lovers are in for a treat. MatchPuppy.com is here to solve your dog’s social needs. Match Puppy connects dogs together similarly to how dating sites match people together. Whether your dog is looking for a play-date or a breeding partner, MatchPuppy.com can find the dog(s) you need. Don’t worry though, humans are more than welcome to establish relationships as well. Sharing hobbies can be a wonderful way for two people to bond. Is there a better romance than two dog owners bonding of the joys of caring for these playful creatures? We at Online Dating Sites have the honor of featuring Michael Chiang, man who came up with the idea for New York City’s MatchPuppy.com.

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One of the nation’s leading experts on how successful women can find love, Janet Ong is an exceptional and successful woman  herself. After suffering through breakup after breakup and questioning her decision-making during courtship, Janet has  managed to refine her approach and help others do the same on her blog, Love For Successful Women.

Your site focuses on finding solutions for finding love among women who tend to be great in boardroom. What’s the main thing you think is missing in the transition from work life to love life?

Work communication is interesting because we’re having to get in touch with our rational thinking, that’s what makes anyone good in a business setting. But a lot of times when we come into a new relationship we still tend to carry over that mentality and the desire to connect intellectually, or simply with our rational minds, than allowing our hearts and intuition take control.

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If the topic of music comes up and you have nothing to say, you are probably missing out on a great opportunity to both enrich your life and spark conversations with the opposite sex. After all, what subject is better for launching a meaningful discussion with less risk of accidentally pissing someone off? So if you want to come off as accessible and interesting, take advantage of these music blogs and get your intellectual hooks into the world of music.

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You spend about a third of your life asleep, so if you want to improve your quality of life for that one third as well as improving that part’s influence on the other two thirds, you’d better make sure you are fully prepared to fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake up refreshed.

Photo By George Eastman House

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Stress is a killer,  and that goes double for a relationship. But problems are usually opportunities, and the stress experienced by you and your partner is just another chance for improving communication and coming closer together as a couple. This expert panel was assembled with the aim of helping couples beat stress, improve their relationship, and answer the question:

“What is the best way for a couple to reduce their stress?”

OnlineDatingsites.net’s Stress Expert Panel:

• Judy Ford
• Jane Fendelmen
• Lauren Miller
• Barbara Peters
• Piers Cross
• Ann Gatty
• Debbie Mandel

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We have a wonderful treat for you guys today. Valorie from Simply Valorie has graced us with her insights about waiting for Mr. Right. Congrats to Valorie for finding a sensible way to avoid bad relationships. What do you think of her list?

At 21 years old, I’m definitely not thinking about settling down any time soon. More importantly, I’m definitely not thinking about “settling” at all – ever.

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Parties require party planners, but even the most resourceful one can’t throw together any party based on knowledge off the top of their head. There are simply too many types of parties. Distinct types of parties can be based on practically anything, including bachelorettes, Bar Mitzvahs, birthdays, Going–to-Prison, American Idol, etc. To make matters worse each of these can be drastically different depending on what sort of age group the party is catering towards. In light of this incredible variety, it pays to have a few resources on hand to assist you with the task of bringing together a party, whether it be at a moments notice, or with months of preparation.

Photo via Chris.Corwin

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Life is tough; there’s no avoiding it. When things start to pile up, sometimes being asked to take out the trash is just the last straw. Unexpected and seemingly pointless bursts of anger can really hurt a relationship. It may be that your partner simply wants to spend some time with you, but all you want is for the day to end as fast as possible.

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